Valentines Day is coming up, so it’s as good a time as any to make the point that many women still marry for money rather than JUST love.
While it’s not a statistical truth in Australia, there is plenty of evidence to suggest it is an unromantic fact, and that some women are trying to marry up and out of a bad financial situation.
According to a report cited by the Australian Institute of Family Studies which was written by British sociologist Catherine Hakim, women are still using marriage as a substitute for a high paying career.
Furthermore, marrying for money is more likely to be the case if you’re getting hitched second time around and later in life.
Chances are that you know at least one woman who’s married for wealth and financial security more so than for love. THAT woman might even like to let you know it via her Instagram feed.
Indeed, if you’ve been like me, the idea may have even been suggested to you by a friend or relative at some point in your life. I can still remember a friend’s mother saying to me while I was at high school, find a rich man dear, don’t marry for love.
While it wasn’t for me, in fact I can’t stand the idea of it, I do understand why it comes about. Perhaps the reason is based in not being able to find love, or lack of career focus and even financial desperation.
The truth is that despite this being 2018, money matters and some of us are still willing to say “till death do us part,” to get it.
A survey of women in the United Kingdom also found that that if you are marrying for the second time, and you’re middle aged, then money is more likely to be a motivating factor.
But is marrying for money what women should be doing in 2018? No and here’s why.
Australian women have so many opportunities in terms of career choice and education that to only marry for money just seems a bit like running a marathon wearing diamonds and heels but without a finish line. I’d rather not.
Sure, you might get a fast pass ticket to financial security, but isn’t life just too short to waste on that alone. Rather you could spend all of that time and energy better on your own self development and wellbeing.
Importantly, if women are ever to break through that glass ceiling, improve their financial education, independence, reduce poverty among single elderly women, and remove the gender pay gap, then a gold digging mindset needs to stop.
Marriage today is also changing and it is less about being a destination that you must get to before you die.
Rather it’s something that actually may or may not happen, and if it does, it may happen one or many times in a person’s life.
Women have also evolved over the past 50 years and the idea of being the glamorous wife or domestic showpiece by a man’s side in marriage has lost it’s appeal. Smart is in.
Over the same period, the divorce rate crept higher until about 1996 but since then it has fallen as defacto living became more common and people started marrying later in life, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS).
Judgement aside, the simple truth is that marrying for money alone is not a sure path to happiness. Conversely marrying for love is also not a sure fire way to rid yourself of financial stress.
So what do you you?
If marriage is something you really want, then shoot for love, not money. Back yourself in making your own pie of wealth, and have a full and frank conversation with yourself, and then your partner about what you want your financial future to look like together.